I have to get up and walk. Just like Forest Gump I have to get up and go without no particular reason and start moving, walking and breathing. 

But really there is a reason.  Day in day out, night after night, that screen has sucked me in. Into its vaccuum, everything flying at high speed and all becoming one mass. It hurts the head. Its pounding, so much that I WANT to explode.  I am so literally sick to death of it.  So I must walk, tear myself away from the master.

The light bulb moment came to me when through my window yesterday evening came a warm sweet breeze  full of memory aroma.  I knew what it was going to smell and feel like if I breathed in deep, so I tried to keep on breathing like I normally do -shallow.  But then I dared to do it, I wanted to feel it again, just once again, so I inhaled long and deep and held it for just a couple of seconds,,thats when I  felt the alive feeling that I have feared for so long and suddenly a well of tears rose up through me and I began to cry.   I was not sad at the time, and was not thinking of anything when I breathed,, but from out of my secret place came a river. 

So I've concluded - Yes I have really lost touch with reality,,,so Im going to walk,,,it's calling me.

Waterkat